DRY CLEANERS – TAILORS – LAUNDROMATS
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
-outside a Hong Kong tailor shop
Drop your trousers here for best results.
-in a Bangkok dry cleaner’s
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
-in a Rhodes tailor shop
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
-in a laundry in Rome
RESTAURANTS
Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.
-on the menu of a Polish hotel
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
-on the menu of a Swiss restaurant
PAY ATTENTION TO THE WARNING SIGNS
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
-in a Bucharest hotel lobby
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
-in a Leipzig elevator
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
-in a Vienna hotel
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
-in a Zurich hotel
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
-at the Budapest zoo
Stop: Drive Sideways.
-detour sign in Kyushu, Japan
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
-in a Hong Kong supermarket
TOURIST ATTRACTIONS
Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages!
-in a Czech tourist agency
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
-advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
-in a Copenhagen airline ticket office
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
-on the door of a Moscow hotel room
“There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.”
-from a Soviet weekly
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
-in a Norwegian cocktail lounge
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
-in a Tokyo bar
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
-in an Acapulco hotel
IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION?
Specialist in women and other diseases.
-in the office of a doctor in Rome
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
-in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist
